The Asian Commercial Sex Scene

Don't read this article if you are not ready to quit commercial sex.

"I was a life-long user of commercial sex. I started using prostitute when I entered National Service and earned my first "paycheck".
Even though the NS allowance was so paltry in the 1980s, I still spent half of it on my first book-out on a Malaysian Cat 50 in Geylang.

Through my teens, 20s, 30s and early 40s, I have never thought twice about paying for sex. I tried to quit when I first got married. (successful for 1 month) and again after my first child (successful for 3 months)
I gave up trying after that. I would score once or twice a week - mostly at legal joints but switched to streetwalkers in the mid 2000s during the invasion of the Mei Mei's in Lor 8,10,12.

In my 30s, I wanted to quit because I was worried about contracting an STD and infecting my wife and future children. One would be very, very,very lucky to escape herpes (HSV 1 and 2) given that:
(1) it cannot be prevented with condom use;
(2) legal working girls are not tested for herpes
(3) most carriers are asymptomatic

I knew of the risk but I could only mitigate it by always using a condom and avoiding cunnilingus and BBBJ fellatio.

I thought, it I "played safe" I can have my cake and eat it too.
But Man proposes, God disposes.

Shortly after my son's 7th birthday, I received a distraught call from his grandfather, my father. I've never seen my father cry, but over the phone, I can hear him sniffing back tears.
" Your son's rash....it's herpes!"
My little boy has been the pride and joy of his grandfather and the old man dotes on him. I tried to pooh-pooh the absurd diagnosis of a 78 year-old retiree who has never been to medical school. But before I could say more, the old man blurted out that it was different time and culture in the swinging 60's.
He grew up in Geylang and frequented his neighbours.
He was sorry he had infected my mother and all my siblings neonatally, but what he couldn't forgive himself for was for the fate of his favourite grandchild.
I HAVE HERPES?
I HAVE HERPES!
After being so "lucky" for so long?

As I tried to take in the shocking revelation, I was playing out all the various scenarios. Was it all just a misdiagnosis? Should I get myself tested? Did I get herpes from my mother neonatally or did I contract it unwittingly over the past decades from one of the thousands of women I had sex with?

As I ploughed all my energy into researching the disease, I was slapped with the cold hard truth : The old man was right. I had herpes HSV all my life. The jock itch, the blisters, the tingling fingertips, the mysterious low grade fever before the rashes.
Too be absolutely sure, I went to see a doctor when my next outbreak occurred and my fears were quickly confirmed.

Did that change my sexual habit?

Not really.

Firstly, my wife- to my best knowledge is- asymptomatic. But for her to infect my son, she is definitely a carrier.

After I knew I was a carrier, I avoided visiting prostitutes during my viral shedding phase.

But here is the strange part of the story.

After knowing that I have infected my wife and my child, I begin worrying about infecting the prostitutes and their future children.

I begin to chat more with the prostitutes, finding out about their family, if they have children, etc.

That was when my attitude towards commercial sex started to change.

In my conversations with the Thai Cat50s, many of them had incredibly sad stories.

One girl had to prostitute herself because her father had cancer.

Another college girl had to pay for medical bills for her mother who was run-over by a truck.

A young mother was forced into the trade when her husband fell to his death at a construction site leaving her without support.

These stories and many. many more made me very depressed.
I realise, when I use the sexual service of these women, they can't say no.
Or at least, they were under the impression that they cannot reject a client without good reason.
When saying 'no' is not an option, the sex is forced on them.
There is term of that in civil society – RAPE
That makes me a rapist and a willing customer of the PAP - the biggest pimp in Singapore.

The urge to sow one's wild oats is immensely strong, primal, biological and some will almost rightly argue, natural.

The only emotion just as basic, primal and natural that can overcome sexual urge is SELF- LOVE.

When I saw myself as different from a rapist scoundrel, I finally quit commercial sex and I'm now sober for over two year."