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Optimus_Prime 17-05-2005 05:59 PM

Star Wars & Sex
 
Saw this article on 8 Days about some of the lines from the Star Wars movies that could easily have been dialogue in the porn industry.

Well after reading...this is my 2 cents worth...

---------------------------------

The setting..in a Health Spa somewhere in sillypore...

WL : Hello (as she enters)
Me : Hi !!
WL : I'm new here.... only 2 days...have not finished my training in massage.
Me : I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me "Master" !
WL : Huh ?? My name's Hanis, what's your name?
Me : You can call me Luke. Can I call you Han?

WL begins her so-so massage.... her hands run through my tired back. Soon she begins tickling her fingers across my bum.

Me : That feels good !!
WL : Close your eyes and feel the force flowing through you.
Me : Huh ??
WL : Turn around. Time for the front.

I flipped around as instructed, and with a nuaghty smile she whipped the towel from my torso. She giggled as she spyed my unerected tool.

WL : Wah !! So small...still sleeping ah ?
Me : Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?

I reached over and start to fondle her breasts while my fingers roam her clit. I got her to doggy position with one hand on her cunt and my lips on her breasts.

WL : Ooo...you so naughty. I want you too.
Me : Han, can you reach my lightsaber ?
WL : Haha ! Is that what you call it.
WL : It's so BiGGG now !! I don't know if I can put it all in, try first okay?
Me : Do or do not. There is no try.
WL : You so naughty... I want you to lick me.

As I moved closer to her cunt... a whiff of aroma reaches my nostrils. I paused but then suddenly a hand grabs me by the head and pushes me closer to that bushy cunt.

WL : Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell !
Me : Mmmuuurrrphhhhh..... (the rest lost in translation as struggling to breath)

Well since I was licking her cunt... may as well get her to do me as well. I moved to 69 position and she hungrily took my "lightsaber". Her warm tongue felt really good and soon a familiar feeling was coming over me...

Me : (to self) Control, control. You must learn control.
WL : Oh I can't take it anymore !! Fuck me now !!
Me : Gasp !! Finally.... (wipes mouth)

I position myself and start to hammer away at her. In the heat of the moment..we forgot about the condom. She was in pure estasy and I was in jackhammer mode pounding away.

WL : Oh...faster..faster...
Me : I am going to cum soon.
WL : Not inside me !
Me : Do not worry I will pull out.
WL : Luke, at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?
Me : I'm cummminnnggg... (pulls out and shot all over her breasts)
WL : Me too....Oooooooo...
WL : You are good. (pats my cock)
WL : I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.

Suddenly the door flings open, and a big shadowly man stands at the doorway !!

Man : Get up and get dressed boy !! I am gonna give you the spanking of your life for coming here.
Me : Who are you ?

As the man comes into the light...

Man : I am your father, Luke.
Me : Noooooo......

THE EVER-LOVING END

Hakoshu 17-05-2005 06:03 PM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
Interesting Master.....

hufnagel 17-05-2005 06:04 PM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
Haha, Nice effort bro. Saw that article too.

Mr Rosie 17-05-2005 06:27 PM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
Truly you have gone over to the Dark Side

Archilles 17-05-2005 08:34 PM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
The force is strong in this one.....

Cheri_Popper 17-05-2005 08:44 PM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
A HC visitor, he will be! :D

fastbud 17-05-2005 09:17 PM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
hahahaha

You don't know the power of the Dark Side

http://www.withlouis.com/film/yoda/

ianchew 17-05-2005 09:19 PM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
May the force be with you!! :D

Optimus_Prime 18-05-2005 08:55 AM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
What is Star Wars w/o sequels ?

well here's a short sequel to my skit above.
-------------------------

Episode II

In a Health Spa far far away
Young Luke has just been caught by his father
Whilst in the midst of fornicating with a WL



Father : You damn daring ah !! Just 18 and want to hook chicken liao.

Me : But dad ! How did you know.. I was just getting...

All this while, Haniz (the WL) had scurried to a corner unnoticed to get dressed. She then stepped forward but she halted in mid-step as she gazed upon my father.

WL : You ??!!

Father : What ?? You !!?!! What are you doing here ? This is bad luck !!

WL : In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.

Father : How can you do this to yourself ?

WL : Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side.

Father : But this cannot be... not you ??

WL : Search you heart you know it is the truth..

Father : If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny,consume you it will.

Me : Errr.... what's going on here ? You know my dad, Han ?

Father : Shut up farm boy or you are going to find yourself floating home on an asteroid.

WL : He has to know sooner than later.

WL : You have taught him well. The force is strong in this one.

Me : Know what ?

WL : He is my brother. Stupid !
:
:
:
:
:
And then I fainted !!


Finally The End
(no more sequels but prequel..hmmm..)

Looksee 18-05-2005 09:04 AM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
solid!!!!

u have out done yourself this time, OP!!

clap!! clap!!

:D

medicheng 18-05-2005 09:13 AM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
this is funny... lolx

snipeshot08 18-05-2005 09:38 AM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
Honestly who says Singapore got no talent?? :D

Look at the number of talented brudders & the garment should be damn proud....

Nice story..

Cheers...

Castrol 18-05-2005 10:41 AM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Optimus_Prime
Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?

i bet my last X wing fighter thats Yoda talking... or mumbling... :D

newyorker88 18-05-2005 11:28 AM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
Hahahaha! I like the story. Too bad cant up you anymore on this story! Nice one! :D

Optimus_Prime 18-05-2005 12:29 PM

Re: Star Wars & Sex
 
Thanks to all the bros for the comments... did not know so many Star War fanatics here...

Pls post your favourite Star War quotes here and I will try to string them together for a prequel...heheh.. featuring who else but Young Luke's Father and his walk in Geylang one day.

So keep your quotes coming...


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