Quote:
Originally Posted by voluptuousvenus
How do you handle the insecurities and the need for constant reassurance? You cannot demand and just accept what is freely given. How can people last 4,7 25 years in such affairs? Does it get any easier? Do you tell each other ILYs? Do u ever feel your other man could be cheating on you too? I'm sorry too many questions. This is an amazing thread!
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ive been with a married man for 5 years now. For my case im not married while he is. To me the most important element of such relationship is to never have any expectation. if he is not free to text and meet due to family obligations, then okay i can always find other things to do. If he is free to meet me and spend some time together, then yay!
Took me 1 year to lower my expectations and never to ask questions that you know will hurt you. His family will always be first and always keep in mind that he will NEVER leave his family for you. People will ask, why do you do it then if it is so hard?? he is my best friend and the best relationship i ever had. It is just a shame that we met after he got married and had kids. Over the years things got easier as we learn to manage our expectations.
He understands that if i manage to find a guy that i want to settle down with, he will back off. Ive been actively searching but so far nobody comes even close to replacing him. We always joke that i may end up single and become a cougar when im in my late 30s lol.
glad to read that i am not the only one in this situation
hoping others will share their story too.