[junebaby]

I got off Mark and sat down on the sofa. If he seemed surprised, he certainly didn't show it.

Mark: Not testing anymore?

Me: No.

Mark: Ok then.

He sat up and pulled me towards him, and I lay my head on his chest as he put his arm around me. I was super tempted to put his cock in my mouth instead.

Me: Urgh. I'm so horny right now.

Mark: I can tell.

Me: You're pretty horny too right?

Mark: I am.

Me: So how come we aren't having sex? Haha.

Mark: You tell me. You got off. Maybe you decided not to be that kind of person?

Me: So this is what it's all about?

Mark: Huh?

Me: Controlling your desires or instincts?

Mark: What do you mean?

Me: All this while you just went ahead with whatever whoever wanted whenever right? Means you gave in to their desires, or sometimes yours.

Mark: I suppose that's correct.

Me: Are you testing me?

Mark: Haha. Why do I need to test you?

Me: You want to see if I'm going to take advantage of you like the others did. Do what I want with you.

Mark: I don't think all of them took advantage of me. Some probably. The first time especially. I'm really ok if you want to hug and kiss all that, but I don't want to go all the way.

Me: You just pleasured me with your mouth, made me so fucking horny, but you don't want to go all the way?

Mark: I think I left that choice up to you.

Me: Seems like this is like a game to you. Seeing how far we can go before common sense or self-restraint kicks in.

Mark: Is it?

Me: Wah. I've no idea. You're complicated. And you didn't stop me when I blew you the last time. You just willingly pleasured me orally right? You really were willing right?

Mark: I do admit I enjoyed eating you.

Me: Sounds so cannibalistic.

Mark: You know what I meant.

Me: Yeah. You're a gentle lover.

Mark: So why didn't you just put it in? You don't have a condom?

Me: I don't know. Change of heart? Don't want to piss you off?

Mark: You were already rubbing on it. Even if you slipped it in, I don't think I could have stopped you in time.

Me: Argh. Stop tempting me.

Mark: You know you want it.

Me: I do. But I can't do that to you. I won't. I'm sorry.

He hugged me tighter.

Mark: Thank you then.

Me: You fucker. It was a test.

Mark: Yeah. Kind of.

Me: Why???? Now I have to wait for Mike to come back and rape him. Or call Tom over. Argh….

Mark: Look, I'm very comfortable around you, and this level of intimacy, I'm actually ok.

Me: I'm very comfortable around you too. Intimacy-wise, I don't think I ever not ended up having sex with someone I was this intimate with.

Mark: I just don't want our meet-ups to be purely physical.

Me: Hello? It's pretty physical already. You just want someone to hug and kiss and touch is it?

Mark: Hahahahaha. No. I want someone I can be myself with when we hang out. Have fun. Not necessarily leading to sex.

Me: Hilarious.

Mark: I'm sorry too that you're not getting the full package from me.

Me: Nah. It's fine. You need to be willing. Otherwise what's the point?

Mark: True. At least I can confirm you will stop at the limit.

Me: I will.

Mark: Means I can ask you for a favour.

Me: What?

Mark: I want to go away for a while. Will you accompany me?

Me: Huh? Go where?

Mark: Short holiday. Staycation?

Me: With me?

Mark: I don't want to be alone. I've spent a lot of time alone. Just thinking.

Me: Oh.

Mark: Will you?

Me: Without sex right?

Mark: Yeah. Will you be ok with that?

Me: Will you be binge drinking again?

Mark: Maybe.

Me: Could you not? I'm really concerned.

Mark: We'll drink less?

Me: Right. You better make sure.

Mark: I'll try.

Me: Where are you intending to go though?

Mark: Some hotel?

Me: How about overseas?

Mark: Sure. Anywhere in mind?

Me: Bangkok? I can go shopping. Hahaha.

Mark: Ah.

Me: You don't seem as enthusiastic as before.

Mark: I was thinking somewhere more chill, relaxing, maybe do a spa thing.

Me: Oh! Batam! My colleagues just went before CNY!

Mark: Hmm. Sounds good to me.

He took his phone and browsed.

Mark: Harris Resort? Looks good to me.

He showed it to me.

Me: Ok.

Mark: Don't you need to ask your husband if you can go?

Me: I'll tell him. Let's just book it.

Mark: How many days?

Me: Hang on. I need to see how many days I can go without sex. Hahahahahaha.

Mark: What.

Me: Just kidding. 2 days? 3?

Mark: Monday to Wednesday?

Me: That's fine.

Mark: End Jan? Back on 1 Feb.

Me: That's a little fast. How about the week after?

Mark: Ok. I'm going to book the room.

Me: Ok. Do you need to let Jasmine know?

Mark: For what? I'm single.

Me: Erm. She wants to marry you. She proposed didn't she?

Mark: Yeah. And I'm still thinking about it.

Me: True that. What about Shirlyn?

Mark: What about her?

Me: I think she wants to be with you.

Mark: Don't be naive. They all have an agenda.

Me: So do I. I want to sleep with you. Hahaha.

Mark: Yes, but you respect me enough to be open about it, and you don't force me to do it. Everything I did with you or let you do to me, it was consensual.

Me: You're overthinking this.

Mark: I think I've not been thinking for myself for too long.

Me: Oh now then you realised it?

Mark: I knew it for a long time, I just didn't want to admit it, or change the way things were too drastically.

Me: Right.

Mark: You know why I still fuck Nat?

Me: Because she's open about it?

Mark: Yes. I used to think I did it to please Jasmine. But after all my conversations with her, I've accepted that I'm doing it for her, and not for Jasmine.

Me: Wah. Not really fair leh.

Mark: To who?

Me: Me la! Haha.

Mark: Deal with it. Haha.

Me: Haha. You're terrible. Teasing me like that.

Mark: Just take it as I'm not ready to go to the next level with you?

Me: Does that mean I'm special to you?

Mark: I think so.

Me: Awww. Now I really want to jump on you and ride you. Hahahahaha.

Mark: Not possible.

He pointed at his crotch. His little bro had gone into hiding.

Me: You know that's not a problem right? I've got hands and a mouth.

Mark: Haha. Let's just continue drinking.

Me: Sure.

He opened another bottle.

By the time we were done, he had finished 8 bottles, while I managed 3.

I waited with him for his Grab again downstairs, kissed him goodbye again.

Mike still had not returned home from John's place.

I kept wondering if he'd fucked April or not. I guess I'd found out if he came back and fucked my brains out.

But for now I just wanted to sleep. Maybe soju and me just didn't mix.