[junebaby]

I was kind of frustrated that nothing happened at the countdown party, and I couldn't even get EoS to show even a little bit of interest in me.

Was my self-esteem really so low that I needed validation from someone who wasn't even interested in me? I couldn't tell.

New years day was spent with Mike, kissing and cuddling on the sofa while watching Netflix. Even as we progressed to the room where I made him hard with my mouth and he slid his hard cock into me, all I could think about was why I kept wanting to have sex with others when my own husband was more than adequate in pleasuring me.

I took an exceptionally long shower after Mike was done and I actually started tearing up thinking about all the things I did throughout my life thus far.

I guess Mike had been pretty tolerant of me all these years. Even when I was fucking Dan behind his back, my manager Ben, Tom, and even Mark. He even acceded to my request to sleep with others. But was it really because I wanted to feel less guilty about what I'd been doing? Or was it because I wanted him to enjoy himself the way I was?

Our relationship over the past few years had really been more open and communicative ever since we started exploring this lifestyle. I really hoped that he enjoyed it as much as I did, even though he constantly said that he didn't.

I was so bored at home as everyone has gone back to work as I was still only working from the office on Mondays.

The weekend was spent with Mike again just chilling. And I still couldn't ignore the craving of having another cock inside me besides my husband's.

Me: Hey…

M: Yeah?

Me: Do you think there's something wrong with me?

M: No? What do you mean?

Me: I can't seem to control my desires.

M: Sexually?

Me: Do I have any other desires?

M: Ok. Guess not.

Me: I don't know what's wrong with me that I still keep wanting to have sex with others.

M: Haven't we talked about this before?

Me: Yeah.

M: What's really bothering you?

Me: I don't know. I'll be 40 this year, surely I can't keep having these desires?

M: I think it's just part of who we are.

Me: So I shouldn't be questioning myself?

M: You know I'll love you no matter what.

Me: This is super unfair to you.

M: Haha. It's ok la.

Me: How can you not be bored having sex with just me?

M: Wait. You're saying you're bored with me?

Me: No it's not that. It's just that I like the thrill I get when it's with someone else.

M: And now that Tom is with Alicia, you feel you're missing something?

Me: Kind of.

M: I think you're thinking too much. Besides, didn't Alicia say it was ok if you still wanted Tom?

Me: I can't do that to her.

M: So what exactly do you want?

Me: I don't know. Haha. I'm just being silly.

M: Just look for Mark. Seriously. Get this feeling off your chest.

Me: No. I'm still angry with him.

M: Then ask Alicia for Tom.

Me: No. Never mind. Just ignore me.

M: Right…

Me: Go play your game. I don't know what I'm doing.

I think my current reaction was just confusing Mike. After all, we had an agreement to be open and honest with each other, and he was ok with the arrangement. Instead, now I was the one somewhat questioning my decisions.

We spent the day watching Netflix and eating another pint of ice cream. Looks like new year new me was still going to be fat me.

Work in the office was kind of boring again. The co-tenants had changed again and my office population was still the same as before.

At lunch time I headed out to the hawker centre and of all people, bumped into Nick and Kate. I was hoping I wouldn't bump into Mark as it was still kind of awkward between us, especially how he badgered me for sex the last time. Worse, what if I bumped into both Mark and Jasmine? It would be even more awkward.

Then again, I was the one who wanted someone else for the thrill and he was outright offering me himself yet this time I wasn't interested at all.

I joined Nick and Kate at their table after I got my ban mian.

K: How's your new year?

Me: Honestly kind of boring.

N: No wild sex party?

Me: Oh god. What has Rebecca been telling you?

N: Nothing much. Just the wild sex parties. I'm kind of jealous.

Me: I don't think she still joins those right?

N: She says she didn't while we're still seeing each other. Just that sometimes she meets this other guy whose dick is as long as my arm. That's what she says anyway.

Me: Right. Where's everyone by the way?

K: The whole group kind of, erm, split up, I guess. After everything happened.

Me: Oh. I meant right now. I kind of expected you to be having lunch with Jasmine and Mark, and Nick with Rebecca.

K: You mean Nick sneaking off to a hotel with Rebecca.

N: Fun times. Haha.

Me: I'm sure they are.

K: They're at some management meeting with the boss.

Me: And you aren't there?

K: Not management.

Me: Neither is Mark right?

K: They wanted his input due to his seniority.

Me: I see. How's things otherwise? You still with Jasmine?

K: Yeah. I am. Mark's sort of with her too. Though they're not exactly fucking. Can't say the same about the others though.

Me: Nat and Crystal?

M: Spot on.

N: I wonder when I'll get to sleep with everyone else.

Me: What?

N: Rebecca's been telling me the stories. Mark sort of confirmed it.

Me: You're kidding right?

K: Hahahaha. I think it's kind of the norm now?

Me: For real?

K: I mean, apparently the guy before Mark started a trend.

N: I don't mind banging Shirlyn. Her boobs are huge. And Jasmine is really fit.

I wondered why I even joined them for lunch.

Me: Kate, how are you even ok with this?

K: It doesn't affect me. Jasmine has her own needs too. Besides, no one's gonna want to bang me so I'm safe there. Everyone is an adult who can make their own choices.

Me: But still…

N: I'd bang you. If you wanted to.

K: Hahahaha. Maybe next time.

Me: I'm kinda glad I didn't take up Shirlyn's offer.

N: I'd bang you too.

Me: Erm.

K: I think Rebecca turned him into a sex maniac.

N: No seriously. If you're ever looking for another partner, and you don't mind someone younger. Just hit me up.

Me: Erm.

For some reason, even though I wasn't outwardly agreeing straight away, I was kind of intrigued. Furthermore, Nick wasn't pushy like Mark had been the last time, and he never once brought up me losing Tom. Or maybe he didn't know. Or maybe Rebecca didn't tell him. But at least he was rather polite about it.

K: You're thinking about it right?

Me: Huh? What?

N: You're turning red.

I touched my own cheek. It felt flushed. Fuck my hormones. Something was really wrong with me.

Me: I'm flattered Nick. But are you sure Rebecca is ok with it?

N: I guess so? We're just fuck buddies right?

Me: I don't know your exact arrangement.

N: Oh well. I'll just assume it's as such. She told me your husband fucks really hard and she's terrified of him, yet the thought of it makes her really horny.

Me: Right.

N: She didn't ask you if he was available?

Me: Not recently.

N: Oh. If she does, it's kind of my fault.

Me: Oh? Why?

N: She asked me to fuck her as hard as I could, and choke her as well. I blew my load in minutes. Couldn't continue.

Me: Right.

N: I kind of prefer to take it slow. Explore my partner's body all over. Inch by inch.

Me: Hmmm.

N: But she said you love big dicks. So yeah. I'll leave it up to you ok?

Me: Haha. Erm… sure? I guess?

N: I'll let Rebecca know as well so you don't have to worry. We're quite open about it.

Me: Right.

Lunch then resumed in relative silence. This young kid had sort of propositioned me. But he was a full cycle behind me. Did I really want it? Worst case, it would be a once-off thing. Best case, I'd have a new FWB.

I told Mike about it when I got home. Surprisingly, he wasn't surprised.

M: New guy already?

Me: It's just a guy who works at the company.

M: Sure. Go ahead. Do I need to vet him?

Me: Do you want to?

M: Not really. But wait a minute. Is that why Rebecca texted me out of the blue to ask if I was still doing the package.

Me: Oh that bitch!

M: Hahaha. I didn't reply her.

Me: Fuck her hard please. Choke her until she passes out.

M: Woah. What?

Me: Nick told me she's craving for your hard fucks.

M: Right.

Me: Urgh.

M: So you're going ahead?

Me: I don't know. I think it's nice to be desired… but he's younger. I might end up with lower self-esteem if it doesn't go well.

M: Aw. Come on, you're sexy. Trust me.

Me: You're my husband, you've to say that.

I teasingly grabbed his crotch.

He cupped my face and kissed me, then slid his hands under my blouse, pulling it over my head.

Me: I haven't showered.

M: Neither have I.

I unbuttoned his berms and unzipped him, sticking my hand in, feeling his hardening cock. He unhooked my bra and took a nipple into his mouth. I ran my thumb across his dickhead, spreading his pre-cum all over it.

Me: Fuck me hard.

M: What?

Me: I want the Rebecca package.

M: You sure? You didn't really enjoy it the last time.

I unzipped my skirt, slid it off me, pushed my panties to the side and slid his hard cock into my already wet pussy.

Me: Fuck me.

It obviously wasn't the right position so he wrapped his arms around me and picked me up, still impaled on his cock, and carried me to the bedroom.

He lay me onto the bed and I guided his hand to my neck.

M: You sure about this?

I nodded.

Mike started pounding away as he squeezed rather gently. I was pretty sure he was holding back.

Me: Harder.

He thrust harder and our pubic bones clashed as his thighs slapped against my fleshy butt. He increased the pressure slightly around my neck.

Then I felt it. The light-headedness coupled with the intense sensations down below. I was getting dizzy, but oh my god, was I finally enjoying what traumatized Rebecca so much yet made her want more?

I didn't know if I actually came, or passed out halfway, but when I snapped out of it, Mike was gently soaping me in the shower. I don't even recall him cumming.

Me: What happened?

M: I'm not sure. But you kept saying don't stop until I came.

Me: Fuck. I had no memory at all.

M: That's sort of what happened to Rebecca.

Me: Oh damn. Why didn't I react like this the last time?

M: I wouldn't know.

Me: Ok. But it was so damn good.

M: You looked like you were dying honestly.

Me: Nah. I'm fine. Now I'm hungry. What's for dinner?

M: Coffeeshop I guess?

Me: Sure.

After dinner I actually had an early night. It was like the Rebecca package could be a cure for insomnia.

Work from home resumed the next day. For some reason, I seemed to be a lot busier this year, and had less breaks to actually chill and watch Netflix. I guess that was a good thing anyway.

With the weekend approaching, I wondered if I should really take Nick up on his offer.