I know it's grossly inappropriate to hi-jack the thread here to talk about something as random as this, but this is about the only other place that all our Thai guru friends hang out and, to be honest, this really deserves to be shared! I'm sure all our Thai gurus would at least nod and agree with some, of not most, of the following. Happy Thursday everyone.
You know you've been in Thailand too long when:-
You think it's normal to have a beer at 9am
You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs
You start to litter your sentences with "khrup", "na" and text people "555" to indicate joviality
You look four ways before crossing a one-way street
You put salt and chili on your fruit
A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and your right arm automatically reaches for your back pocket to whip out your wallet
You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car
You can't remember the last time you wore a suit and tie
You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire
Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love and you understand the analogy
You aren't upset when the pretty girl right next to you eats beetles as a snack
You haven't had a solid stool for five years
You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there
You actually start to think white wine might go well with Tom Yum
A Thai bar-girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away
You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory and start download cheesy techno songs as ring-tones
You start wearing slippers everywhere
You start driving cars bare-feet
Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet
You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection
It's two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside
You realise that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter 'S' - sanuk, saduak, sabai and suay
You start to think a calendar would be more useful than a watch
You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus - if the bus takes too long you and the queue start walking around the pole like a human sun-dial
You see a young child cleaning your car window in the middle of the road, barefoot, long past their bed-time and you no longer feel sadness
You address the Sukhumvit Soi 5 beggar on a first-name basis and he actually waves back the next time he saw you
When you start pronouncing English words incorrectly on purpose (Thai Weeesa, Send-turn Were)
When you're watching football and start screaming "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!" while raising both your arms in a rhythmic motion once your team scores, while shouting "OEIIIIIIIII!!" when it's a near-miss
When you check your reflection during an argument to see if you're doing it like the actor in the lakorn show last night
When your girlfriend stops saying "Up to you" and actually has an opinion
When you see a Caucasian on the street and you point to him immediately shouting "Falang!" at the top of your voice
You have seriously considered buying a motorsai as your next family car
You're no longer surprised when four men with a ladder show up to change your light bulb
You treat it as a norm that a stranger would suddenly come up to you and start rubbing your shoulders while you're taking a leak
You think having a 1 baht coin in your ear looks cool
You stand and watch an entire video in Power Buy
You tell someone nonchalantly it's 11am when it's a quarter past 12
You have an appointment at 2pm and leave your apartment at 2.45pm
You find nothing wrong with ordering soh-dah wall-terrr instead of coke to go with your whiskey and eating popcorn in the middle of a dance floor
When the floor becomes your prefered meal venue
You start to feel something's missing when you are reversing your car and don't hear any whistles
You pay all your bills, buy all your groceries and transact everything that's humanly possible at "Seh-wen" and upgrade your korm-pew-terrr at Pan-teeep Pah-Zahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
When your girlfriend chattered for 2 hours on the phone with her best friend in the car and you actually thought they were talking about something meaningful
Make sympathetic noises when a Thai is complaining about something ("Hmm. Uhrr. Mmm. Mmmmmm.")
Realise that no food tastes right unless you load it with fish sauce