[Xgenre]

I’ve gotten to know several SBF sisters over the years. Some of them I’ve met and kept in touch with them. Obviously, some meet-ups went beyond the dinner and coffee sessions. No names/nicks will be revealed. I was asked to start a thread by one of the sisters that I met. Recently, there seems to be an influx of ladies coming to SBF to look for a FB. I thought it will be useful to start a thread on issues that these ladies will know what to take precaution on. I hope it’s useful for guys as well.

1. Think of what you are looking for before you start a thread and be very, very clear about it.

Some ladies start threads introducing themselves and the age, height and weight requirements of the guy they are looking for. However, details are sometimes lacking on what the girl is looking for. Are you looking for a regular FB, an irregular FB or friends with benefits? Ladies, do you know what you are looking for in the end? Are you sure about it?

Guys being guys, we begin with the end in mind, bedding you. So if you can tell us specifically what you want, a lot of misunderstanding can be removed right from the start. We guys don’t understand you girls. Guys don’t know what you mean by regular FB or worse friends with benefits. So help us by being specific. Eg. Once a week, either every Tuesday or Thursday night. Or we will be friends, if I feel like it, you get more tonight. If not, we only meet to chat...

I find the selection process of some ladies worrying. SBF ladies, unfortunately, tend to select guys pre-dominantly based on language ability. If you can type better, you must be the more suitable man for me. So smart guys start copying their introductory emails from romance novels. Before you select your guy, please read through his SBF history. He might be a suave writer who has cheated on FLs, posted secretly taken photos of his sexual conquests, been a pimp before or asked questions looking for cures for sexually transmitted diseases. Don’t come to SBF to look for your knight in shining armour. Knights in shining armour don’t come to SBF. Devils with horns do.

2. Never reveal your real email address.

Set up a fresh email account for SBF related activities. You won’t want your normal circle of friends to google your email and find out that you’ve posted your email in a SBF thread. It shows. It will be horrible if we can find your facebook account from the same email. Your circle of friends can then be informed of your SBF activities. Stuff of nightmares. An email account that allows you to msn is recommended. You can then chat with your short-listed guys on msn before meeting. Guys should also set up a fresh email for SBF-related activities.

3. Always leave yourself the option of being untraceable.

This is the 21st century. A lot of us are using smart phones. Why is there a need to exchange a real phone number? I never exchange phone numbers for if the first meeting doesn’t meet up to my expectation; there is a way for me to be non-contactable. I am sure the ladies won’t want the guys to bug you to reconsider your decision, if the lady has rejected the guy.

If you don’t have a smart phone, just set up a time and place to meet via MSN or SBF’s PM. Example, be at this bus stop in front of whatever school at what time, I am driving a white Honda civic. I am wearing black shirt with jeans. I will come pick you up from the bus stop. I will leave if I don’t see you after 10 minutes.

If you have a smart phone, use your smart phone to install msn messenger. It allows you to use MSN messenger as a form of communication for the first meeting. If he isn’t there or if he is somewhere else, you can reach him. If you do not wish to keep in touch for whatever reason, deleting him from your MSN is easy too. If phones can be smart, we can be too.

The check-in process for H81 is also worrying. Normally, the guys will pass their IC to the counter staff to open a room. When the counter staff asks for your ic, the guy may collect your ic from you, take a look at all your personal information and passes it to the counter staff. When the counter staff is happy, your ic is returned to you. What’s wrong with this? Well, that guy knows where you stay and your full name. You know nothing about him as you didn’t see his IC. Don’t be complacent, pass your ic directly yourself to the counter staff.

4. Have an escape plan when you meet.

I will only meet girls at places where I can leave immediately if I sense danger. You are meeting someone from online. You only know him from the words he type. He might not even be typing the words himself. ‘He’ might not even be a he, he might be a group of men. Good meet-ups get written in SBF. Bad meet-ups do exist and they are seldom documented. So ladies, get real. This is a sex forum and many of us guys are sex-crazed. Human beings do exaggerate from time to time. If a creepy guy turns up instead, are you able to seek someone else’s help? If not, don’t meet there. For myself, I won’t even meet a girl under her block if I realise that there is only 1 exit/entrance for her carpark (some hdb blocks are designed like this).