[kiasusam]

Mrs. Tan was rearranging the first-aid kit when Miranda appeared in the doorway. Her face turned to surprise when she saw Ryan sitting on the bench seat.

"Ryan? What are you doing here?”

“He got scratched up and I was putting him back together.” She said offhandedly.

“I need to talk to you about something.” She turned to look at Ryan.

“Where’s the recorder?”

“On the couch.”

“All right. Come on downstairs.” She motioned for Ryan to follow her out of the bathroom. Miranda had turned and disappeared.

Emily stopped in the doorway and spoke in a low voice when Ryan got close.

“You should adjust so it’s not so obvious.” Ryan groaned as he tried to hide his erection.

He leveled a tiny exasperated glare at the soft laughter coming from Mrs. Tan. Adjusting as best he could, he followed her downstairs. Her head turned a few times to catch him watching her ass as she walked. He was surprised to see a slight blush creeping up her cheeks. When they got to the front sitting room, Miranda was staring at them both with her arms folded around her thin body.

“I should leave.” Ryan blurted out as Mrs. Tan reached for the recorder.

“No. You should be here.” Ryan shook his head.

“She’ll hate me. I don’t…I can’t see her like this.” He spun on his heals and disappeared before anyone could react.

3 hours later, Ryan was absentmindedly playing video games between cleaning an already clean room when his cell phone chimed. Looking at it, he read the words,

“Please come over.”

5 minutes later he was raising his hand to knock when the door opened. Mrs. Tan smiled at him and waved him in.

“I have to go shopping and run some errands. I don’t want her to be alone. She’s upstairs in her room.”

“She okay?” She nodded.

“She will be. Go on up, she’s expecting you.”

“To her room?”
“Yes, Mr. Walker. Talk to her and listen to her. I’ll bring home pizza. You can stay for dinner. Just make sure you’re both virgins when I get back.”

Her lips curled as she poked fun at him. With that, she turned and left him at the front door slipping out of his coat and shoes. His feet seemed to get heavier with each step up the stairs. The image of the little neighbour girl, who cried on the bus the first day of kindergarten until he’d sat next to her and held her hand, flashed in his mind. The very next day, he was waiting on her doorstep and they walked hand in hand to the bus. Her eyes had filled with tears, but had remained silent. She’d simply rested her head on his shoulder and clung to his hand. He’d always hated to see her cry. Almost as much as he’d hated to see her kissing Jason. She was sitting on her bed with her back against the wall and her knees tucked under her chin when he stopped in her doorway. They looked at each other for a moment. Her eyes were puffy and red.

Her normally perfect skin was mottled with streaks of redness. She smiled a sad smile up at him.

“You okay?” She shook her head slowly at first but it became frantic as the tears started again.

He watched as she curled in a ball on the bed facing away from him. Ryan didn’t know what to do. Hesitantly, he stepped into the room. With each step he gained momentum and was soon climbing onto the bed and tucking himself in behind her. His arm went around and found her hands clutched under her chin. He froze when she spun around and clung to him with her head pressed to his chest and her arms trying to pull him tighter.

“Shh.” Ryan whispered into her hair as his arms encircled her. She rose up to let him slide his arm under her body so she could rest her head on his upper arm.

“I’m sorry, Miranda. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Shh. Just stop crying.”

It took what seemed an eternity for her tiny hiccup-like sobs to quiet. His hand was running up and down her back as he tried to ignore the growing pain of her head on his arm. When she finally pulled her head up to look at him, he grabbed a pillow and tucked it under them both. After pushing some hair from her face, his thumb began to brush the skin at her temple. She blinked long slow blinks as the tears dried up. Her voice was low and raw when she spoke.

“He never liked me, did he?”

“No.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” “I did. I told you when you two first started hanging out that he wasn’t your type. You didn’t listen. I told you all about him. You didn’t care. You started dating him, anyway. You wouldn’t have believed me.”

“But he’s your friend.”

“Not anymore. He was planning on hurting you. I’m done with him. So are you.”

“Is that why you stopped talking to me? Because of him.”

“No. It was because of you. You liked that asshole. There are a ton of guys, but you picked him. I had to watch you make out with him. Had to hear the things he said about you behind your back. It was killing me.”

Miranda’s head came off the pillow to stare at him. It was a searching look trying to find an answer to a question she didn’t ask. Her brown eyes danced back and forth as he stared back at her. Unnerved, Ryan rolled to his back and stared up at the ceiling. After another minute, Miranda snuggled closer and rested her head on his chest. Her hand lay over his heart, feeling the heavy beat of it.

“He was your friend. I thought if he was good enough for you, he was good enough for me.”

“He’s not. He’s just always been my friend. I don’t have many. I don’t have any, now.”

She mumbled something Ryan couldn’t decipher.

Raising his head to look at her, he saw her eyes were shut. Her body seemed to relax into him. She was asleep. Resigned to be a pillow, Ryan laid his head back down and closed his eyes. His hand came up and rested on hers as he listened to her breathing regulate. He could hear the tick tock of a clock on the wall and the whoosh of the heat flowing through the vents. Sometime later he felt fingers running through his hair. His eyes struggled to open. He’d fallen asleep as well. Looking up, he saw Mrs. Tan’s smiling face staring down at him.

“Dinner’s ready.”
She patted Miranda’s back and then shook her gently when that didn’t work.

The two of them stumbled down to the kitchen to find the pizza waiting for them. They ate in relative silence. Emily watched them both from across the kitchen counter with a curious smile on her face.

“Why haven’t you two ever dated?” She asked.

Ryan looked up with surprise written all over his face. He looked from one to the other and then lowered his head.

“I don’t know. I never thought it was an option.” Miranda stared at him for a moment without saying a word.

“You’re handsome and she’s beautiful.
Both of you looked so sweet sleeping together. It seemed natural somehow. You’re telling me you two don’t have any romantic feeling towards each other?”

“Mom.” Miranda exclaimed in a loud desperate voice.

“What? You think he’s cute, don’t you?” Miranda eyes bulged as she tried to silently shut her mother up with a look.

Ryan was staring at her out of the corner of his eye. He was still looking at her when Mrs. Tan spoke again.

“She’s beautiful. Isn’t she, Ryan?” Miranda’s head turned to see his answer.

The two of them stared at each other. Neither one of them sure what to do or say. Ryan lowered his head and almost imperceptibly nodded.

“Have you two ever kissed?” “Mom!”

Miranda stood up so quickly the stool tipped over and crashed to the ground. She was out of the kitchen and her feet stomping up the stairs in an instant. They both heard her bedroom door slam shut.

“Have you?” Mrs. Tan was staring at Ryan.

“No. Not really. A few pecks when we were really little. Nothing that really meant anything.”

She came around the counter and sat down on the stool Ryan picked back up from the floor. Patting the stool next to her, Ryan sat back down and took a drink of soda. Her fingers ran through his hair again as she stared at him with a curious little smile on her face.

“I made a decision today. You’re an actual good boy. A good man.” She corrected.

“You’re both technically adults and both virgins. I want you to be her first.”

“What?” Ryan choked on a bit of pizza. Spitting it onto the counter. It brought a giggle out of her.

“You are skittish, aren’t you. I don’t know many mothers who would actually give a boy permission to have sex with their daughter. I figured you’d already be slamming her bedroom door by now.”

“You want me to just go up there and crawl into bed with her?”

“No.” She was still giggling as she shook her head.

“Not like that. I want you to treat her right. Respect her. She was planning to lose her virginity to that monster on Valentines Day. Thank God that didn’t happen. I want you to date her. When it’s right and you both want it, it’ll happen.”

Ryan exhaled a long heavy breath. His eyes looked up to the ceiling as if he was trying to see into her room. He’d never thought of her like that. She’d always just been the girl next door.

“I don’t know how to be someone’s first. I’d be horrible. She deserves someone better than me.”

“Wow. Are you really passing up sex with my daughter?” Her smile grew until she was laughing loudly.

“How do you know if you don’t try? You can’t be that bad. I didn’t really give you a chance to kiss me back, but I assume you’ve at least kissed a girl before.”

“I have.” Ryan said defensively.

“I’ve made out at parties with a few girls who attacked me.”

“Never you? You’ve never initiated at all? You’re that shy?” Ryan shrugged. 

“I don’t know if it’s shyness. I just don’t know how to start things. Girls are a bit tough to read sometimes. The idea of having my balls crushed is a pretty good deterrent. I have no idea what Miranda thinks of me.”

“She likes you. I know she trusts you. If you two would just talk honestly about things, you might figure it out all by yourselves. Are you at least a good kisser?”