[seesaw]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:



40-ish................................49

Adventurous......................Slept with everyone

Athletic..............................No tits

Average looking.................Ugly

Beautiful............................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure.............On medication

Feminist.............................Fat

Free spirit..........................Junkie

Friendship first...................Former slut

Fun...................................Annoying

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned....................No BJs

Open-minded.....................Desperate

Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate.........................Sloppy drunk

Professional.......................Bitch

Voluptuous........................Very Fat

Large frame.......................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate................Stalker





WOMEN'S ENGLISH:



1. Yes = No.

2. No = Yes.

3. Maybe = No.

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry.

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not.

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think

about?



MEN'S ENGLISH:



1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you!

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.