help needed.. Complicated Divorce case...

gaoxing · #1 28-10-2012, 02:24 AM

I and my prc wife had been married for 6yrs... Now we are to the verge to end it.. Due TO mistake of mine... Had a bought a resale flat for 5 yrs n 2 kids... I am intending to leave the flat for her to stay as she need a shealter as she had no next of kins here.. As kid we will be taking 1 each. Just some question after divorce can the flat be still under my name? Since i am paying for the installment every month and i dun think she can afford to pay as she is not working...and also we both agreed to divorce peacefully without any contest. How long will it take normally to close the case..and also she is a SPR already.. Will her PR get cancelled if we divorce? Really need some aids from the seniors here.. Thank you... Cheerz...

lossou · #2 28-10-2012, 02:38 AM

Hi bro,

I'm in a similar situation as you. But, I would urge to hang on to the marriage for your children sake. Do not separate them. It'll hurt them for life. Moreover, the law may not allow that when they're still young. May I know how old are they?

It's best that you consult a lawyer if you really want to divorce eventually. But, from what I know, the HDB flat definitely has to be sold. You can buy it back as the new owner with your child if you want.

Have u consider seeing counselor? It may help. Seriously, I really hope you can work out something with your wife, e.g. try to stick together under one roof. Maintain a cordial relationship for the kids. This will keep the damage to the kids to the minimal. Hang on to the marriage for at least a few more years. When both of get on with age, you may reconsider about the marriage. Children are innocent. We owe it to them. Give them the best which money cannot buy. We adults may feel badly towards each other (husband & wife), but to the kids, they would rather see us being together than separated.

All the best to you, bro. I'm still suffering at my end. But, I don't hate my wife. I'll do my best for the kids and hopefully one day I will win her back.

Austere · #3 28-10-2012, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaoxing

I and my prc wife had been married for 6yrs... Now we are to the verge to end it.. Due TO mistake of mine... Had a bought a resale flat for 5 yrs n 2 kids... I am intending to leave the flat for her to stay as she need a shealter as she had no next of kins here.. As kid we will be taking 1 each. Just some question after divorce can the flat be still under my name? Since i am paying for the installment every month and i dun think she can afford to pay as she is not working...and also we both agreed to divorce peacefully without any contest. How long will it take normally to close the case..and also she is a SPR already.. Will her PR get cancelled if we divorce? Really need some aids from the seniors here.. Thank you... Cheerz...

Think of the children......

Seriously, Since u say its your MISTAKE, Use your children to hold the relationship first.

Any way for your question, you can go Ministry of Manpower or Immigrations and call and ask them.

Make appointment and call them. Should be free.

gaoxing · #4 28-10-2012, 03:32 AM

I understand its not nice to seperated the kids...btw both the kids is less than 5 yr old... Thank for all advice n sometime is not up to me to decide... Wat i can do now is to provide them with what i can.. Just want to seek aids about the house thingy n my wife pr thingy...the rest have to see whats the last decision made...

songsonglah · #5 28-10-2012, 03:47 AM

You're married for 6 years and house bought for 5 years. Mean it's purchased after marriage. Sorry to say but as it is matrimonial asset acquired AFTER marriage, she is entitled to some share of the house. At for the percentage she's entitled to, normal case is 50%. But if you can show proof that you made the majority of contribution to the payment of the house / renovation / house related expenses, maybe the percentage can be negotiated. Although she's not working, her share of work done in up keeping the house will be considered as her contribution. Whether her name is on the lease paper and how will it affect her share, I can't comment.

I'm not a lawyer. This is according to what my lawyer advised me for my divorce.

Can't comment on the PR issue either.

There is also the alimony issue. I'm not sure if she's asking you to pay alimony. But any lawyer worth his / her salt will ask her to request for min $1 for alimony. Reason being, in the event that she's disabled in future (touch wood) or unable to work for a living, she can apply to the court for this $1 to be increased. In short, you're screwed here.

Please, if can, try to hold on the marriage fur the children sake.

gaoxing · #6 28-10-2012, 04:31 AM

For the house if possible to give her i also dun mind but the problem is she need to re finace or wat so ever...i dun think she is able to take any loan as she is not working... We had agree to leave this house for both of the kids... Its just that i don,t know how it can be done.. Btw the house is all paid by me for the downpayment to reno...i dun mind paying her alimony as i know she will be difficult without me...problem is if she can still stay in sg a not... Headach ar...

MrJD · #7 28-10-2012, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaoxing

For the house if possible to give her i also dun mind but the problem is she need to re finace or wat so ever...i dun think she is able to take any loan as she is not working... We had agree to leave this house for both of the kids... Its just that i don,t know how it can be done.. Btw the house is all paid by me for the downpayment to reno...i dun mind paying her alimony as i know she will be difficult without me...problem is if she can still stay in sg a not... Headach ar...

Separation and divorce takes time. PR status is reviewed and renewable every 5 years. Don't fret, one thing at a time. Seek advise legally and from the necessary departments, then think of the game plan.

sammyboyfor · #8 28-10-2012, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrJD

Seek advise legally and from the necessary departments, then think of the game plan.

Should be "Seek ADVICE legally....".

"Advise" is a verb.

hamsapkwai · #9 28-10-2012, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaoxing

Due TO mistake of mine... ..

Brother , just to kaypoh a bit, what mistake did you make to take you to this stage? tks

And btw i dont think its that complicated. That is for those with millions in assets and tussling for custody of children.

Intltuk · #10 28-10-2012, 02:47 PM

TS, since this a amicable breakup, suggest u hire a lawyer(familiar with matrimonial matters) to help advice and sort all matters in ur mind. Though ur case is not as complex as those fighting it out in court, it req'd a good understanding of the laws of S'pore, who can help u understand the options going forward. Like u mention, housing. HDB rules, CPF rules, women's charter, etc comes into play once u divorce.

MrJD · #11 28-10-2012, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Should be "Seek ADVICE legally....".

"Advise" is a verb.

YES sir. Thanks for the reminder!

Greendevil · #12 29-10-2012, 10:42 AM

TS, for your flat issue, the answer is can't keep your name there and continue to pay off under yr CPF. You have to sell it。I suggest you sell it at open market .understand that she need a shelter, so best arrangement is get her a smaller unit I.e. u can discuss with her to let her have a larger share of the sales so that she can afford to buy one smaller unit herself. In this way, u can free from any liability and also able to buy a unit yourself. Please
Don forget u also having one kid with u as well. In this manner u may able to keep some cash and your CPF as well. If u need more advice, pm me separately with yr email, I can further advice u the whole
Procedure. From divorce to sale of new unit. Also have lobang for all these. Chees

Blast88 · #13 29-10-2012, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaoxing

I and my prc wife had been married for 6yrs... Now we are to the verge to end it.. Due TO mistake of mine... Had a bought a resale flat for 5 yrs n 2 kids... I am intending to leave the flat for her to stay as she need a shealter as she had no next of kins here.. As kid we will be taking 1 each. Just some question after divorce can the flat be still under my name? Since i am paying for the installment every month and i dun think she can afford to pay as she is not working...and also we both agreed to divorce peacefully without any contest. How long will it take normally to close the case..and also she is a SPR already.. Will her PR get cancelled if we divorce? Really need some aids from the seniors here.. Thank you... Cheerz...

TS,

Don't be naive, do you think a lady whose give birth to you 2 kids will agreed to divorce without contest

Beside the flat, be prepared also to fork out thousands of maintenance fee per mionth

fingersling · #14 29-10-2012, 03:28 PM

Deleted post

mustachio · #15 29-10-2012, 11:36 PM

TS, Just share with you. Mine was over in 6 months. Non contested.
Split custody may not be the best option especially if the siblings are close.
People told me that a divorce is never "complete" if the ex husband and ex wife are still under the same roof. But the arrangement is really bad for the couple. There is a certain discomfort and tension. So it is better that one moves out.
Children will grow up to understand why their parents had to split up.
Look for a lawyer that will protect your interests. Remember The Courts will always rule in the woman's favour. Even if she committed adultery. If there are assets whether bought before or after the marriage will be divided if the woman asks for it. The point of contention is contribution by the woman whether direct or indirect. 6 years of marriage still not so bad. If 20, 30 or 40 years? You will be cleaned.
Dissolving the marriage and dividing the assets are 2 different matters but heard at the same hearing. For example, you may win by suing her for adultery but still have to give her some of your assets.
Hope that helps.