Married a WL

[merelyevil]

Originally Posted by rawboy83

Wish you all the best TS!

I feel whether a relationship succeed or fail, all depends on how both sides managed it. Got nothing to do with being in what line of work now or in the past.

You are one of the guys with a really big heart. I am trying my best to make such a relationship work out but sometimes, just like 5-10% of the time i would be suspicious albeit keeping it to myself and not question her or even bring anything up. Is it wrong of me to feel that way?

Even if she works in this line, you love her. You will still go to the end of the world for her? I am contemplating on seeing a psyhologist to rationalise my thoughts, to be more objective and open heart-ed that this line of work WAS okay, and give her a 100% trust even when we aren't staying together. Even if it's going to be a blind trust then so be it. More of an emotional matter than a money matter

[adonis]

merelyevil. I think you need to see a marriage counsellor not a psychologist.

[merelyevil]

Originally Posted by adonis

merelyevil. I think you need to see a marriage counsellor not a psychologist.

Thanks for the advice. Though I highly doubt the counsellor can really take my verbal thrashing on everything and anything, then give me a good summary on all the whys and hows. Worth a consideration though.

Cheers

[happywoody]

lest we forget, a WL is also human

[rawboy83]

Originally Posted by happywoody

lest we forget, a WL is also human

Yeah, so true. If can't accept her past, better don't start in the first place.

[merelyevil]

Originally Posted by rawboy83

Yeah, so true. If can't accept her past, better don't start in the first place.

May I humbly ask if her past you can overlook, but she somehow still works in vice related jobs and has to be in contact with men, how would you deal with it emotionally or psychologically or mentally? Just need to hear more opinions. Thanks in advance.

Cheers

[Westinghouse]

don't think I can accept, every sex time I would think how many guys have up her before..

[a2014]

Originally Posted by Westinghouse

don't think I can accept, every sex time I would think how many guys have up her before..

If you have the ego there which I guess most man will have so long as SEX is concern then don't bother to consider it at all. Go find a 16 years old virgin better.

[merelyevil]

Originally Posted by a2014

If you have the ego there which I guess most man will have so long as SEX is concern then don't bother to consider it at all. Go find a 16 years old virgin better.

I have to agree with bro a2014 that it's about the ego. He put it best. In my opinion, IF you want to go against the norm and have a relationship or future with an ex-WL, you cannot think that you own her and her past. If you do, she definitely won't be the one for you. The key phrase is 'look forward'. how much time are you going to have sex in a day? And do you think emotions were involved when she worked? How do you think she loves you now? When she was working it was all about needing the money, putting up acts and in a sense, lying about her body's needs and providing a service, which is just so happen to be against social stigma. If one visits (visited) FL, i think ethically, it doesn't make him better than the ex-FL. There is demand then there is supply. If all the freaking men do not want sex, do you think there will still be any FLs around when there's no money hanging?

But i think it's another barrier altogether if she is STILL currently working in this sort of line. Then what is the kind of emotional struggle we are talking about here? I guess it is really up to you personally and how much you really love her, provided she is really giving you her heart and not milking money out from you intentionally

[lickman]

Originally Posted by MarriedinCN

But these girls are also human and can fall in love. They mostly come from humble backgrounds and it would be impossible for them otherwise to make this kind of money. More often it is their boyfriends back in China who force them into this line of work, because they also have no better way to make a good living. If you can really get them to know you and they see that you are a good and kind person who treats them with respect, and the spark is there between you then they can fall in love with you. I hear tales of my wife's ex-WL friends and a lot of them are really good people at heart.

You confirmed will not look for wl after marrying her.confirmed her ex boyfriend will not look for her.your time with her is short.
More important must have saving$$$ if anything happen $$$ help...

[lickman]

Originally Posted by adonis

merelyevil. I think you need to see a marriage counsellor not a psychologist.

Have you come across a marriage counsellor also got problems in their marriage.

[merelyevil]

Originally Posted by lickman

You confirmed will not look for wl after marrying her.confirmed her ex boyfriend will not look for her.your time with her is short.
More important must have saving$$$ if anything happen $$$ help...

Last part is true...

[javascript]

狗改不了吃屎。。。。。 Never play with fire. I had been there.... Lesson learned...Just PFF.

[broessex]

Originally Posted by merelyevil

I have to agree with bro a2014 that it's about the ego. He put it best. In my opinion, IF you want to go against the norm and have a relationship or future with an ex-WL, you cannot think that you own her and her past. If you do, she definitely won't be the one for you. The key phrase is 'look forward'. how much time are you going to have sex in a day? And do you think emotions were involved when she worked? How do you think she loves you now? When she was working it was all about needing the money, putting up acts and in a sense, lying about her body's needs and providing a service, which is just so happen to be against social stigma. If one visits (visited) FL, i think ethically, it doesn't make him better than the ex-FL. There is demand then there is supply. If all the freaking men do not want sex, do you think there will still be any FLs around when there's no money hanging?

But i think it's another barrier altogether if she is STILL currently working in this sort of line. Then what is the kind of emotional struggle we are talking about here? I guess it is really up to you personally and how much you really love her, provided she is really giving you her heart and not milking money out from you intentionally

Take it from me bro, you know my situation also.

Talk through the situation and find out if this work that she's doing is to solve a chronic problem (spend too much) or a short term problem (someone in family needs money, university debts etc). If it's a chronic problem, like she spends way too much money, then even if you get her to stop, she'll just turn to you for money. You die, she die, everyone die. If it's a short term problem (and a legit one at that), then you no choice have to close one or both eyes. Chances are, what she makes in 1 month is easily 3-4 times a normal worker in Singapore. FL go to HK one month can easily earn 20k SGD. Sometimes they need it to help their family, if you can provide that amount to tide over the short term problem, OK fine, but be careful that it doesn't become a habit.

Again, it all boils down to the girl. Want to be with an FL, cannot be the typical guy.

[MarriedinCN]

Yes there is a lot of heartache in cultivating a relationship with a WL. Obviously when I first started dating my wife she was still working in this line. I would read reports on SBF from other customers who would write about the great services and high GFE that they received from her. I would be chatting with her her while she was at work and she would go offline while she was servicing customers. I would go and see her as a customer and have to wait until after she had serviced someone else. I would see her come out of the room with her previous customer (sometimes an old man, sometimes a young studly looking guy). She knew it tore me up which is probably another reason why she preferred to service me outside. She agreed to quit and go back to China with me before her contract ended because she knew how I felt about her being with other guys. However when we first moved back she did still WeChat with some of her old customers (I saw the messages on her phone). I did not call her out on it at the time. It was only after a couple of months after we moved back that I think that she felt certain that she could trust in my feelings for her and that I wanted to be with her forever. I have seen & heard about plenty of other WLs who have relationships with Singapore customers where it doesn't work out. In most cases it is a long distance relationship where in a lot of cases the guy still has a wife and family back in Singapore. In fact the relationship is purely financial and the WL just tries to extract as much money as she can out of the relationship because she knows the guy is still cheonging back home and at some stage the guy will eventually move on to someone else.