A Lost Relationship- Learn to Let Go

[candypuss]

thanks for this great article. this is something i need to understand more abt the lost love although my marriage is in processing to the stage of no point of return soon or at a later timing.

I m learning to let go of this so called broken marriage n to let everything heal themselves in time to come.

Hope by the time i emerge out, i will be smiling like a sunshine lady again...

[tantan1234]

随缘

有一个书生，和未婚妻约好某日结婚，
到了那一天，未婚妻却嫁给另一个人。

书生受到打击，一病不起。
眼看书生奄奄一息，这时，路过一个僧人，
得知后，决定点化一下他。


僧人从怀里摸出一面镜子叫书生看，
书生看到茫茫大海，一名遇害女子躺在海滩上。

这时，走来一个人，看了一眼，遥遥头，走了。

又走过来一个人，将自己的衣服脱下，
给女子盖上，走了。

又走过来一个人， 过去挖了一个洞，
小心翼翼的把尸体埋葬。

疑惑间，画面换了，书生看到自己的未婚妻，
洞房花烛，被丈夫掀开盖头，但那男人不是他。

书生不明白。僧人解释：

海滩上尸体， 就是你未婚妻的前世。
你是第二个路过的人，曾给她一件衣服。

她今生和你相恋，只为还你一个情。

但是她最终要报答一生一世的人，
是最后那个把她埋葬的人。

那人就是她现在的丈夫。

Remember:
缘分来时好好珍惜，缘分走时不要感伤

[SaintArc]

Really need a long time to heal ESP when both sides did really love each other n WANs to settle Down gg through thick n thin...
Can say Tis time is e most hardest path to go through

[hella21]

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be.

That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself!

[Marcel]

thanks for this thread bro hella21 but sometimes saying it is much easier than actually doing it. Especially the 1st part or the part when it still hurts. Just have to live it through.

[hella21]

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

[Stimsia]

Originally Posted by tantan1234

随缘

有一个书生，和未婚妻约好某日结婚，
到了那一天，未婚妻却嫁给另一个人。

书生受到打击，一病不起。
眼看书生奄奄一息，这时，路过一个僧人，
得知后，决定点化一下他。


僧人从怀里摸出一面镜子叫书生看，
书生看到茫茫大海，一名遇害女子躺在海滩上。

这时，走来一个人，看了一眼，遥遥头，走了。

又走过来一个人，将自己的衣服脱下，
给女子盖上，走了。

又走过来一个人， 过去挖了一个洞，
小心翼翼的把尸体埋葬。

疑惑间，画面换了，书生看到自己的未婚妻，
洞房花烛，被丈夫掀开盖头，但那男人不是他。

书生不明白。僧人解释：

海滩上尸体， 就是你未婚妻的前世。
你是第二个路过的人，曾给她一件衣服。

她今生和你相恋，只为还你一个情。

但是她最终要报答一生一世的人，
是最后那个把她埋葬的人。

那人就是她现在的丈夫。

Remember:
缘分来时好好珍惜，缘分走时不要感伤

this is really zen
前世因果

[hella21]

This story contains some “tips” that may bring you a beautiful life. Read them, live by them more fully, and I promise you will experience a beautiful life!

Take a 10-30 minute walk every day and while you walk, smile.
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
“My purpose is to … today.”

Live with the 3 E’s: Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy, and the
3 F’s: Faith, Family, Friends.

Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6. Dream more while you are awake.
Try to make at least three people smile each day.

Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn, pass all your tests.

Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagreements.

Make peace with your past, so it won’t mess up the present. Don’t compare your life with others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets. Don’t save it for a special occasion.

Today is special. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. Forgive everyone for everything. What other people think of you is none of your business.

Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will stay in touch. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful, or joyful. The best is yet to come…

Believe. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up. Do the right thing! Call your family often.

Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
“I am thankful for…” – “Today I accomplished…”
Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. Make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

[deludedgal]

we will survive

[dingdingding123]

[QUOTE=hella21;5790797]Chance upon this article somewhere, Just like to share.

There you were, deeply involved in a relationship. It may have been stormy or you may have thought everything was running smoothly. Then it happened: Your significant other no longer wanted to be your significant other. This scenario happens almost every moment of every day, but when it happens to you, your whole world can focus on this. Many people that do not want the relationship to end will go into a panic to keep the relationship alive. Most of these attempts are in vain. When a relationship ends, it can be a heartbreaking, emotionally crippling time, and there are strategies you can implement to learn to let it go.

It is important to understand that as much as you may wish, you simply cannot control another person's thoughts or feelings. Even if you feel they are unjustly ending the relationship or you do not see any logic in their choice, they possess the freewill to do with their life as they wish. It is sometimes enormously painful to accept this fact, especially if you feel you have given so much of yourself to this other person. When they choose to walk away from you, you may feel a very strong craving to stop the progress of their actions. When feeling that you deserve something from this person, it can cause you to behave in very improper way. This behavior is detrimental to your emotional wellbeing.

There is no debate regarding the poignant pain that is involved in a breakup or divorce. There is not a magic way to completely stop the misery you will feel from the loss of this person. However, there is a way to control these feelings. No amount of pleading, begging or bribery can change how a person feels about you. Once you accept this fact, you can then move on to take actions to behave dignified and accept the end of the relationship with your esteem intact.

If the following sounds familiar, you have not learned the art of letting go. When faced with the end of a relationship, have you called that person endlessly will pleas to be reunited? Have you contacted the other person and promised to change your behavior to better accommodate their needs? Have you attempted repeatedly to question them as to why they are choosing to leave you? All of these are clear-cut signs that you have a difficult time letting a dead relationship go. All of these signs only make the situation worse for you.

When pleading with another person to "begin loving you again", you are setting yourself up for disaster. You cannot talk someone into loving you. You may be a wonderful, caring, kind and compassionate person, however if someone who was in your life does not feel they want continue the relationship, you cannot force them. You already must deal with the loss of the relationship. Love is a choice of freewill. To beg, plead or otherwise, will only lead to feeling defeated once again.

It is exceedingly difficult indeed, to control the desire to reach out to the person who left you. When you are so used to conversations with them or see

saying is easy , took my 2 years to forget my ex whom i have been with 4 years , heartache non stop during this 2 years if you never been through that its hard and unimaginable pain that you need to suffer before learning to let it go.

[promster]

Gone through a painful break-up this year not initiated by me ... Learn something and move on stronger ...

"She has the right to choose who she wanted to be with, but she definitely loses someone who truely loves her now ... "

Best
Promster

[abugga]

I'm on the same boat but I can empathize bros,

I am feeling fine, upset yes, but not to the point of carrying out meaningless acts and self destroying thinking.

I think I can credit my buddhist readings and learnings to helping me cope with tough situations!

Remember bros, all things, good or bad come to an end, rejoice when it's good, but be prepared to let go when it's gone, similar to bad things, learn from the lessons, and again be prepared to let go!

All things on this earth are of impermanence, always remember, this too, shall pass!

[mentholfresh]

This is really a good read, thanks TS and bros. Took me 3 years to recover back then...

[donnpoh]

i fall for an escort .. thanks for the article.. wakes me up

[lilyrose]

Saw this article written by someone on why falling in love can hurts so much.....Hence, just wanna share it here on this meaningful thread..

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it really doesnt matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go.

You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if his or her happiness means that your not a part of it. Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, dont be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person unless you risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you dont get hurt, you dont learn how to love. Love doesnt hurt all the time, though the hurting is still there to test you and help you grow. Dont find love, let love find you. That is why it is called falling in love because you dont force yourself to fall. You just fall.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. Dont ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time. To love is to risk rejection; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing. To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self; to love is to risk not to be loved in return.


Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. IT should inspire you and give you joy and strength. Sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them freedom that they choose to be and where they choose to be. Loving someone means giving them the freedom to find their way, whether it leaves towards you or away from you.

Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire or tear you apart. Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you are not ready to cry, if your not ready to take that risk, or feel the pain, then your not ready to fall in love. There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt. Then I figured thats why its called falling in love. When you decide to love, allow it to grow. When you promise to love, refuse to let it die.