A Lost Relationship- Learn to Let Go

[snowyheart]

我知道我已付出了真心，因为尽管你欺骗了我，我也无法恨你。偶尔想起我们的过往时，我还在想假如我至今还被 蒙在鼓里，现在的我们会是怎么样。

我并不后悔认识你，只希望你从一开始就能向我坦白一切，而不是让我自己发现真相，造成如今的结 果。

我曾经以为我们能天长地久，但那只不过是我天真的想法。现在这些已是过去事，没什么好留恋及不 舍了。

你会是我心里永远的痛，谁也无法磨灭。

Maybe our relationship is nothing to you, considering your past. I'm not sure if you will chance upon this, but I would like to let you know that I really loved you, W. Hopefully I'm the last girl that you will hurt.

[smile_santa]

Was trying to find some advice on dealing with grief when i chanced upon this thread... I know the only solution is letting go and in a day I hear it many times. It's not knowing the solution, but simply our emotions especially one as strong as love simply doesnt follow the rules of logic.

I've been together with my girl for a little more than 6 months now (long-distance. Before you all jump into any conclusions, no I didnt meet her at a whore house or a thai disco). Now i know LDR takes an incredible amount of trust, effort and tolerance but throughout the r/s we didnt have any issues except the occasional feeling of loneliness from the distance apart.

We will communicate everyday using various social apps, and never had any major fights. But our conversations are not very long because we are both very busy with work, especially for her who works 6 days a week. However about 3 weeks back just a few days after my birthday, things begun to change.

For a whole day she didnt read or reply my msgs. Finally a day later she replied me saying her phone has some problems. And wont be able to text me a further 2 weeks as shes going to sent it for repair. Now we all know 2 weeks is a long time for repairing a phone but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Then, 2 weeks came and passed and now the third week is ending too. I tried msging her in everything I can get my hands on but no response. She didnt even read the msgs. And through some CSI on my own I know she didnt repair her phone as she claimed, and she had access to a computer to have read my fb msgs. Anyway cut story short, shes suddenly ignoring me and disappearing from my life.

Let me first say that while this doesnt surprise me since not everyone can overcome the obstacles from being in a LDR, I cannot get over how it ended up like this.

There was no quarrels, no apparent discontentment with each other, nothing. And suddenly the person you loved so dearly decides to deal the cruel blow of robbing you a proper closure.

I am struggling to deal with this. I cannot find closure because I cant even direct my sadness or anger to anything. If she found another man and told me so, at the very least I could have yelled a few nasty names at her before sighing a relieve of avoiding a quitter. But to leave without a trace, without a pillar to punch, breaks me. Many people have told me she found someone else and deep down inside I know that is probably true too. But I need to hear it from her. At the very least, tell me what went wrong...give me an excuse or a reason to push the blame to... and what if, just what if she really has a legitimate reason for her disappearance and I am too quick to judge her? Even though I wont put much hopes on this possibility, it just hurts too much to think someone whom you think you'd love just a week ago would be the one that stabs at your mind every second of the day.

I know its an unhealthy obsession that is eating me away slowly. I still grief everyday and pray that sooner or later she can grant me mercy and give me the reprieve I am looking for...

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by smile_santa

Was trying to find some advice on dealing with grief when i chanced upon this thread... I know the only solution is letting go and in a day I hear it many times. It's not knowing the solution, but simply our emotions especially one as strong as love simply doesnt follow the rules of logic.

I've been together with my girl for a little more than 6 months now (long-distance. Before you all jump into any conclusions, no I didnt meet her at a whore house or a thai disco). Now i know LDR takes an incredible amount of trust, effort and tolerance but throughout the r/s we didnt have any issues except the occasional feeling of loneliness from the distance apart.

We will communicate everyday using various social apps, and never had any major fights. But our conversations are not very long because we are both very busy with work, especially for her who works 6 days a week. However about 3 weeks back just a few days after my birthday, things begun to change.

For a whole day she didnt read or reply my msgs. Finally a day later she replied me saying her phone has some problems. And wont be able to text me a further 2 weeks as shes going to sent it for repair. Now we all know 2 weeks is a long time for repairing a phone but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Then, 2 weeks came and passed and now the third week is ending too. I tried msging her in everything I can get my hands on but no response. She didnt even read the msgs. And through some CSI on my own I know she didnt repair her phone as she claimed, and she had access to a computer to have read my fb msgs. Anyway cut story short, shes suddenly ignoring me and disappearing from my life.

Let me first say that while this doesnt surprise me since not everyone can overcome the obstacles from being in a LDR, I cannot get over how it ended up like this.

There was no quarrels, no apparent discontentment with each other, nothing. And suddenly the person you loved so dearly decides to deal the cruel blow of robbing you a proper closure.

I am struggling to deal with this. I cannot find closure because I cant even direct my sadness or anger to anything. If she found another man and told me so, at the very least I could have yelled a few nasty names at her before sighing a relieve of avoiding a quitter. But to leave without a trace, without a pillar to punch, breaks me. Many people have told me she found someone else and deep down inside I know that is probably true too. But I need to hear it from her. At the very least, tell me what went wrong...give me an excuse or a reason to push the blame to... and what if, just what if she really has a legitimate reason for her disappearance and I am too quick to judge her? Even though I wont put much hopes on this possibility, it just hurts too much to think someone whom you think you'd love just a week ago would be the one that stabs at your mind every second of the day.

I know its an unhealthy obsession that is eating me away slowly. I still grief everyday and pray that sooner or later she can grant me mercy and give me the reprieve I am looking for...

She found another guy and opted for the most irresponsible way of ditching you.

Look on the bright side, you are now single and opportunities await.

[orangeproud]

Originally Posted by smile_santa

I've been together with my girl for a little more than 6 months now (long-distance. Before you all jump into any conclusions, no I didnt meet her at a whore house or a thai disco). Now i know LDR takes an incredible amount of trust, effort and tolerance but throughout the r/s we didnt have any issues except the occasional feeling of loneliness from the distance apart.

We will communicate everyday using various social apps, and never had any major fights. But our conversations are not very long because we are both very busy with work, especially for her who works 6 days a week. However about 3 weeks back just a few days after my birthday, things begun to change.

For a whole day she didnt read or reply my msgs. Finally a day later she replied me saying her phone has some problems. And wont be able to text me a further 2 weeks as shes going to sent it for repair. Now we all know 2 weeks is a long time for repairing a phone but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Then, 2 weeks came and passed and now the third week is ending too. I tried msging her in everything I can get my hands on but no response. She didnt even read the msgs. And through some CSI on my own I know she didnt repair her phone as she claimed, and she had access to a computer to have read my fb msgs. Anyway cut story short, shes suddenly ignoring me and disappearing from my life.

Let me first say that while this doesnt surprise me since not everyone can overcome the obstacles from being in a LDR, I cannot get over how it ended up like this.

There was no quarrels, no apparent discontentment with each other, nothing. And suddenly the person you loved so dearly decides to deal the cruel blow of robbing you a proper closure.

I am struggling to deal with this. I cannot find closure because I cant even direct my sadness or anger to anything. If she found another man and told me so, at the very least I could have yelled a few nasty names at her before sighing a relieve of avoiding a quitter. But to leave without a trace, without a pillar to punch, breaks me. Many people have told me she found someone else and deep down inside I know that is probably true too. But I need to hear it from her. At the very least, tell me what went wrong...give me an excuse or a reason to push the blame to... and what if, just what if she really has a legitimate reason for her disappearance and I am too quick to judge her? Even though I wont put much hopes on this possibility, it just hurts too much to think someone whom you think you'd love just a week ago would be the one that stabs at your mind every second of the day.

I know its an unhealthy obsession that is eating me away slowly. I still grief everyday and pray that sooner or later she can grant me mercy and give me the reprieve I am looking for...

TS, hv u met her in person? Or all d while u juz chit chat wif her over online?? If u nvr meet her in person throughout this 6mths long distance r/s, then how much u can get to knw someone w/o meeting her, n some more u mentioned usually the conversations r quite short as u both busy working. I feel tat it's unhealthy n unwise to fall in love wif someone u met n juz chat online only. If u treat this r/s as love then I feel it's very unrealistic, u may nt like to listen to wat I say, but u really need to clear ur mind n think carefully is it so called love?? Or is juz an obsession, u already get used or addicted to talk to her online everyday, so one day she juz suddenly disappeared w/o any reason, u feel lost n restless. U feel tat she owe u a reason for the sudden disappear, but mayb actually she juz treat it as a temporary past time hobby, she dun treat it as serious r/s neither does she fall in love wif u.

Long distance r/s needs a lot's of effort n time to maintain. I think either she has found another hobby which she think more interesting to pass time or she already find a local boyfriend whom she can meet anytime at her convenience. Talk to u everyday for half a year, she may think nothing to talk or share wif u liao, so she juz end it.

U knw it's an unhealthy obsession, so try nt to think abt her anymore, I knw it's difficult but must try to get urself busy to gradually forget abt her. If really wan to date gf, find in local here where u can meet her anytime to get to knw her better rather than platform. Pls do nt harbour unrealistic fantasy wif someone u meet online. U may feel disappointed when u meet her in real life.

Pls dun feel offended to wat I thought, juz my opinion, take it or leave it if u dislike.

[orangeproud]

Originally Posted by snowyheart

我知道我已付出了真心，因为尽管你欺骗了我，我也无法恨你。偶尔想起我们的过往时，我还在想假如我至今还被 蒙在鼓里，现在的我们会是怎么样。

我并不后悔认识你，只希望你从一开始就能向我坦白一切，而不是让我自己发现真相，造成如今的结 果。

我曾经以为我们能天长地久，但那只不过是我天真的想法。现在这些已是过去事，没什么好留恋及不 舍了。

你会是我心里永远的痛，谁也无法磨灭。

Maybe our relationship is nothing to you, considering your past. I'm not sure if you will chance upon this, but I would like to let you know that I really loved you, W. Hopefully I'm the last girl that you will hurt.

[smile_santa]

No offence taken bro, you are just giving an honest opinion and thats what this forum is for. I thank you for advice.

Anyway to answer your question, yes I have met her in person. In fact, both of us met our parents. I haven't ruled out what you said too, that she may have already found someone new. I guess everything takes time and hopefully it wont be too long this time round...

As for dating local women, who knows? But I haven't been attracted to a local girl for awhile. I don't want to open a can of worms so I shall not list my reasons why. haha.

Anyway bros, thanks for reading and taking the time to reply.

Originally Posted by orangeproud

TS, hv u met her in person? Or all d while u juz chit chat wif her over online?? If u nvr meet her in person throughout this 6mths long distance r/s, then how much u can get to knw someone w/o meeting her, n some more u mentioned usually the conversations r quite short as u both busy working. I feel tat it's unhealthy n unwise to fall in love wif someone u met n juz chat online only. If u treat this r/s as love then I feel it's very unrealistic, u may nt like to listen to wat I say, but u really need to clear ur mind n think carefully is it so called love?? Or is juz an obsession, u already get used or addicted to talk to her online everyday, so one day she juz suddenly disappeared w/o any reason, u feel lost n restless. U feel tat she owe u a reason for the sudden disappear, but mayb actually she juz treat it as a temporary past time hobby, she dun treat it as serious r/s neither does she fall in love wif u.

Long distance r/s needs a lot's of effort n time to maintain. I think either she has found another hobby which she think more interesting to pass time or she already find a local boyfriend whom she can meet anytime at her convenience. Talk to u everyday for half a year, she may think nothing to talk or share wif u liao, so she juz end it.

U knw it's an unhealthy obsession, so try nt to think abt her anymore, I knw it's difficult but must try to get urself busy to gradually forget abt her. If really wan to date gf, find in local here where u can meet her anytime to get to knw her better rather than platform. Pls do nt harbour unrealistic fantasy wif someone u meet online. U may feel disappointed when u meet her in real life.

Pls dun feel offended to wat I thought, juz my opinion, take it or leave it if u dislike.

[zarniz]

Originally Posted by smile_santa

Was trying to find some advice on dealing with grief when i chanced upon this thread... I know the only solution is letting go and in a day I hear it many times. It's not knowing the solution, but simply our emotions especially one as strong as love simply doesnt follow the rules of logic.

I've been together with my girl for a little more than 6 months now (long-distance. Before you all jump into any conclusions, no I didnt meet her at a whore house or a thai disco). Now i know LDR takes an incredible amount of trust, effort and tolerance but throughout the r/s we didnt have any issues except the occasional feeling of loneliness from the distance apart.

We will communicate everyday using various social apps, and never had any major fights. But our conversations are not very long because we are both very busy with work, especially for her who works 6 days a week. However about 3 weeks back just a few days after my birthday, things begun to change.

For a whole day she didnt read or reply my msgs. Finally a day later she replied me saying her phone has some problems. And wont be able to text me a further 2 weeks as shes going to sent it for repair. Now we all know 2 weeks is a long time for repairing a phone but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Then, 2 weeks came and passed and now the third week is ending too. I tried msging her in everything I can get my hands on but no response. She didnt even read the msgs. And through some CSI on my own I know she didnt repair her phone as she claimed, and she had access to a computer to have read my fb msgs. Anyway cut story short, shes suddenly ignoring me and disappearing from my life.

Let me first say that while this doesnt surprise me since not everyone can overcome the obstacles from being in a LDR, I cannot get over how it ended up like this.

There was no quarrels, no apparent discontentment with each other, nothing. And suddenly the person you loved so dearly decides to deal the cruel blow of robbing you a proper closure.

I am struggling to deal with this. I cannot find closure because I cant even direct my sadness or anger to anything. If she found another man and told me so, at the very least I could have yelled a few nasty names at her before sighing a relieve of avoiding a quitter. But to leave without a trace, without a pillar to punch, breaks me. Many people have told me she found someone else and deep down inside I know that is probably true too. But I need to hear it from her. At the very least, tell me what went wrong...give me an excuse or a reason to push the blame to... and what if, just what if she really has a legitimate reason for her disappearance and I am too quick to judge her? Even though I wont put much hopes on this possibility, it just hurts too much to think someone whom you think you'd love just a week ago would be the one that stabs at your mind every second of the day.

I know its an unhealthy obsession that is eating me away slowly. I still grief everyday and pray that sooner or later she can grant me mercy and give me the reprieve I am looking for...

Went through the same thing bro. Finally had closure when last week she told me she got back with her ex bf after 5 weeks of similar torture as you.
Its a bit selfish of them to treat others this way, but its a tough decision we need to accept as this current period, we cant say nor do anything that can change their mind.
Take care TS.

[smile_santa]

Originally Posted by zarniz

Went through the same thing bro. Finally had closure when last week she told me she got back with her ex bf after 5 weeks of similar torture as you.
Its a bit selfish of them to treat others this way, but its a tough decision we need to accept as this current period, we cant say nor do anything that can change their mind.
Take care TS.

Glad to hear you received closure bro. I'm still caught in limbo. Work has been abit harsh on me this week so didnt have much time to think about it but today made the grave error of looking back at our messages.

Well, it's hard but one still has to move on.

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by smile_santa

No offence taken bro, you are just giving an honest opinion and thats what this forum is for. I thank you for advice.

Anyway to answer your question, yes I have met her in person. In fact, both of us met our parents. I haven't ruled out what you said too, that she may have already found someone new. I guess everything takes time and hopefully it wont be too long this time round...

As for dating local women, who knows? But I haven't been attracted to a local girl for awhile. I don't want to open a can of worms so I shall not list my reasons why. haha.

Anyway bros, thanks for reading and taking the time to reply.

I would be glad to hear your 'worms'.
I have been trying to explain to my friend about the perils of dating local women but he isn't having any of my advises. Obviously haven't learnt from his last relationships.

[zarniz]

Originally Posted by smile_santa

Glad to hear you received closure bro. I'm still caught in limbo. Work has been abit harsh on me this week so didnt have much time to think about it but today made the grave error of looking back at our messages.

Well, it's hard but one still has to move on.

Please, for your own sake, delete off those messages. I know its tough but with the click of the button delete, it will help you tremendously. I did it. It will leave you empty at first, but its the first step.

[abcbear]

Happened to chance upon this thread and having read so many other people sharing their problems let me know that I am not alone...thanks all for sharing their wisdom and comments.

The lowest point of my life was when I found out that my wife of 5 years has already been cheating on me for almost a year.

My world crumbled on that day. Everything that I stood for, everything that I was fighting for came to an end on that day. Being cuckolded is the ultimate betrayal that you can unleashed onto a Man. It cuts right to his manhood, to his identity. The hurt was too real, too deep. Especially for a Man, there are no emotional free passes. You are expected to be strong, to be unshakable, to let it go.

You are not encouraged to talk about it. Guy friends will be bored of your angst, they will tell you something along the lines of; "someone better will come along", "stay strong", "now is the time to enjoy single life again!" Words like these are of little comfort to me and its not their fault. Men are not well versed to give advise on such matters.

I confronted her, I knew it was no use. There were complaints, lots of blaming...citing no emotional assurance and reasons after reasons with no logic. I wanted her to come clean. All I get was half truths. I was tired. I was confused. Was it because of me? Because I was too busy working my ass off to provide for her? She is always requesting holiday trips and branded stuff. I cited her for being materialistic. I was just scratching the surface. It was a much deeper issue than that.

continued on next post...

[abcbear]

continued from previous post...

I reflected back on myself. I did all the 'right' things. Having a stable job with good prospects, I tried to please her, I listen to her wants, I gave her attention. That was until I stumbled upon MGTOW and The Red Pill theory....Everything became fucking clear. Reading comments after comments from RP people have open up my mind on so many levels. (There is too much to be discussed here, I highly suggest you guys to read up on the red pill theory).

In short, women are hypergamy in nature, I might sound like I am stereotyping but it's definitely majority of the women if given the chance and choice, sweet coating it will not change anything. Its the same like why Men like to look at boobs.

Nothing I do could make her stay. But ironically, if you understand the red pill theory, its actually because of me and also because of her innate nature. There was no fighting it. Everything that I had being taught to treat women was what was causing the relationship to fail.

At first, I thought money was everything that is needed for a women to stay loyal. Nothing could be further then the truth. If you have money and nothing else (referring to Alpha male traits). You will only be a Beta provider. You can be damm sure that she will be spreading her legs when an Alpha come along and took a fancy at her.

I was a beta provider, I only knew how to put her interest first. That was my first mistake. I kept on working for money to fulfill what she wanted. It was a never ending errand. I worked my ass off, i dumped all the money into our upcoming house, for all the holiday trips that she wanted. In short, I put myself last on the list. I became fat and mellow.

For the last 6 months leading to the discovery of the affair. I was getting emotional (gut feeling) and wanted to connect with her. I pleaded for her time, for intimacy. It was withheld from me. It kept me in check like a hungry dog, being punished by his master for not performing up to her standards. During that time I was in a job transition and was tight with money from the house renovations. Even then, I blew my budget on an overseas trip and an expensive gold necklace to please her. Such a bloody fool I am.

Guys, from this failed marriage. These are my advise. Always be prepare to walk away, always stand firm to your frame, be assertive, be fit and always keep investing in yourself. The good ones will stay. The bad ones, as long as you exhibit beta traits. It's only a matter of time that an Alpha will be fucking her mad.

6 months later, the pain is still there but fading away slowly but it has improved so much as a person, I lost more than 10kgs, became much fitter and have much more confident in myself.

[hella21]

Quoted online:

如果人们都能真正明白爱情，那么他们就不会陷入一段又一段无果的感情中去。真正的爱情不会有伤害，不会牺牲 我们喜欢的东西，它是自由的，由你而来，又可能离你而去。想要遇到真爱，有11件事你一定要先知道。当你明 白这些，你就可以开始踏上寻找真爱的旅途了。True Love，出发吧！

1、反思自己是第一步
　　在你建立一段感情之前，先要打理好你的生活，能够好好照顾自己、处理生活中的大小事情还有和家人朋友的 关系。最重要的是客观对待上一段感情中的错误，以及上上段感情中的失误。其实在每段恋情结束的时候就应该自 己一个人想清楚，是你本身还是他的问题导致这段感情结束，如果是你的原因，那是脾气不好、自私？还是别的原 因，列一个感情清单和生活清单都是非常必要的，能够帮助你尽量在下段恋情中不要犯同样的错误。

2、你可以容忍，但要有你自己的底线
　　在你必须容忍之前，要先知道自己能够容忍什么。比如劈腿绝对不能容忍？知道自己不能够容忍什么，比如沉 迷于酗酒？不打电话？放你鸽子？收入不稳定？抽大麻？不诚实？在你遇到这些之前你要明白这些问题，千万不要 被容忍了。你必须能够说：“如果发生某某情况，那就分手，同时没有任何抱怨。” 这样你谈恋爱的时候才是理智清醒的，才不会让自己痛苦，真爱是两个人在一起就算什么也不做也是幸福的，而不 是让对方每天和你在一起的时候感到痛苦。
　你要明白自己的底线是什么——并且一旦越过决不容忍。事情一旦超出底线，要保证能够立即转身离开。如果有 些事情你觉得可以最多出现第二次或者第三次，那么在出现第二次或者第三次时候要保证能够决然离开。如果你不 离开，你就是在骗你自己，或者说你陷入了虐恋，你在和自己讨价还价，这不是很悲催吗？

　3、真爱不会牺牲我们喜欢的事物
　　真爱不会牺牲我们的兴趣，我们的爱好，我们的朋友以及家人。如果有人要你这样做，这是不正常的。如果即 使没人要求，你也愿意这样做，那就更糟糕。刚开始恋爱时有些挣扎是正常的，但一段时间以后，你需要回到你珍 爱的人和事情上。让生活保持平衡，如果你放弃了你所爱的人和事，有一天你会发现你自己深陷其中，无法自拔， 因为你别的什么都没有了。所以对于你们花在兴趣和热爱的事物上的时间，要好好权衡安排，但要记住，一旦放弃 就永不会再有了。

　4、真爱不会有伤害
　　诚然，每段感情中，都会有误解、不安和失望，但在正常的关系中它们不会一直这样。真爱必然伴随着相爱。 二者虽然都不易，但它们都会越来越顺畅，因为两个人都在付出。爱是帮助你度过生活中的难关，而不是让它变得 更难。真爱，是在这个艰难世界里的相互扶持，而不是让你的生活变得更糟。真爱会让彼此受惠于疑虑却不会受它 愚弄。面对它，但不要每件事情都要争。远离那些把每件事都变成争吵和挑衅的人。那让人身心疲倦，不要那样做 。正常的人都会拒绝那种生活。

　　5、学会选择，而不是照单全收
　　对身边的人学会做出选择，并不只是学会建立友谊和共同协作。朋友中选择那些可爱的、可敬的、诚实的、开 放的、以及在乎你的人进行交往。选择那些知道信任是需要维护的、一旦损坏，就不可能再恢复原状，这些人才可 能不是奇葩，大家都知道和奇葩相处是很累人的，所以在一开始交朋友上请慎重做好选择，而不是随波逐流；不要 选择那些让你一直猜他们是怎么想的人，要想生活中少些困惑，就不要选择这些。

　6、坦诚地交流沟通
　　两个人相恋，特别是到了后面的阶段坦诚是最重要的。你可以有选择性的不告诉他一些东西，但不等于可以欺 骗，面对的都不是真实的人，怎么样好好在一起相处呢？相处方式中，比如指鼻咒骂，不行，吹毛求疵，不行，血 泪控诉，也不行。学会以“我感觉”、“我想”开头，不要用命令的语气，这样子除非是受虐狂不然没有人会喜欢 这样的语气的。

7、真爱是要有理想和抱负的
　　如果你们在一起从来没有对未来共同憧憬过什么，没有做过一些打算，那么说明你们的恋爱程度还不够深，你 们如果深爱对方，会想接下来的每一分每一秒都和对方在一起，怎么会没有想过未来的事呢？梦想一定要有，万一 实现了呢？无论是个人的努力还是双方的，都是非常美好的事情，因为至少付出过，如果实现了两个人可以一起见 证那是很幸福的事情，就算没有实现，日后会一起来也是感动的。找出你一直想做的然后去做，还要找出对方真正 想要的是什么。

　8、不要甘愿做牺牲品
　　虐恋中的多数人，深陷于否定、辩护的泥潭中不能自拔。学会保持你自己的理性，不要再相信那些让你陷入以 及“被牺牲”的说辞。你要从一切需要你被同情的事物中解放出来。如果你发现自己正在陷入自己被利用或者别人 对你不厚道的事情，并且这些事情听起来令人同情，那么立即停下来，要知道作为牺牲品对于任何正常的人来说都 是没有吸引力的。你要为你自己和你生活中遭受的一切负责。

9、爱是行动，由你而来，又可能离你而去
　　付诸行动并持之以恒。每一天，无论是否恋爱，你都要确定爱是行动的，而不是嘴上说说。同时你的付出对方 时能感受得到的，你们的关系在双方的努力下就会越来越好，所以真爱不是每天只用说我爱你，你爱我就好了。对 于生活中的每一个人，你都要坚持这一点，即使是“非恋爱”关系(比如同事)。尊重是爱的行为，你必须在你所 有的关系中保持被尊重。

　10、真爱往往有着时间差
　　真爱其实就像打计程车。第一，不像公共汽车，只需等待就会自动来到你的面前，而需要你先向它招手才停； 第二，如果你碰到的是空车，那就是你的幸运，但往往车上已经有人了；第三，走了多少距离就要付出多少代价。 有时候被动不是一件好事，特别是在真心喜欢的人面前，主动去聊天、朝对方微笑。简单又自然的事情，这样也许 你就为自己促成了一段美好的姻缘，但是被动、冷漠换来的是事后的后悔、叹息。
　可是并不是你遇到真爱的时候，他刚好也是喜欢你的。他可能还没有做好准备，比如谈一场不分手的恋爱携手走 进婚姻的殿堂，还没有结婚的打算。爱情里的时间差可以说是最捉弄人的，对的时间遇上对的人非常重要。所以不 要害怕分手，这些经历都是有原因的，你只要跟随自己的心走，做每个阶段该做的事，然后淡然面对一切突如其来 、不顺利、起伏。
　走出多少距离就要付出多少代价，距离和代价是成正比的，其实这里的代价不全都是指不好的，也指你对对方的 关心，你对这段感情的重视程度，比如大家常说的经营，你有没有去经营它，如果有你们一起走过的路就会长一些 ；如果你在感情中任性，每件事都要男朋友哄着你、迁就着你、任性地直接表达自己所有的情绪，毫不在意对方的 感受，也不主动为他多想一点，这样你不仅伤害了他，也没有好好谈这场恋爱，所以即使遇到真爱，不改变自己态 度的话，也是不可能成功在一起的。

　11、即使一路追寻，也要学会回头
　　在你寻找真爱之路的时候，不要忘了一直对你好的人。当一个深爱着你的人为你而改变，那是因为他爱你；当 你遇到一个人，他为你收起他的顽固脾气，也因为他爱你。如果你发现身边有这样的人，请你好好珍惜。失去的情 人，总会是最懂你的。

[Stimsia]

Wtf
She marrid n have a kid
Yet say miz me n still wechat me

[CoolKuBird]

I once heard a ex gamber say“这世上什么都能输的起。只有感情输不起。”

i finally understand this phrase many years later.